Journal Entry 4/28/08
Today I went to work. I sat in my office. I thought of different escape routes for different emergency situations.
There are three exits. Two of those exits can also be used as points of entry for an assailant of some kind. I am not, naturally, including the floor to ceiling windows that could be kicked out in a pinch. After all, why be silly about it?
I am confident that I can now, if push comes to shove, be out of any area of the building within four to six minutes. That depends, of course, on how many people I have to shove out of the way. Which reminds me, I need to figure out who would make the best human shield. As my mother always says, proper pre-planning prevents piss poor performance.
This whole process took up about ten minutes. Bored for the rest of the day. Conclusion? It is vital that one use ones office downtime in a productive manner.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Conversations With . . . Vol. II
Davey
HIM: (yelling) Adrienne! No! Come on! You don’t believe in G-d!
ME: Yes, I do.
HIM: (Yelling) Adrienne! You believe there’s an invisible man in the sky?!
ME: Well, not a man . . . (contemplative) although I do always picture Mel Brooks dressed like a rabbi so --
HIM (cutting me off and, again, YELLING) You believe in an invisible man in the sky and you’re afraid of him!
ME: No. I’m not afr - -
HIM: (More cutting off & yet more YELLING) You’re afraid of him, just say it!
ME: (trying not to laugh so as to appear serious and not like I’m trying to get his voice to go to the next octave for my own amusement) I also believe in reincarnation.
HIM: (YELLING - loudest yet) JESUS!
HIM: (yelling) Adrienne! No! Come on! You don’t believe in G-d!
ME: Yes, I do.
HIM: (Yelling) Adrienne! You believe there’s an invisible man in the sky?!
ME: Well, not a man . . . (contemplative) although I do always picture Mel Brooks dressed like a rabbi so --
HIM (cutting me off and, again, YELLING) You believe in an invisible man in the sky and you’re afraid of him!
ME: No. I’m not afr - -
HIM: (More cutting off & yet more YELLING) You’re afraid of him, just say it!
ME: (trying not to laugh so as to appear serious and not like I’m trying to get his voice to go to the next octave for my own amusement) I also believe in reincarnation.
HIM: (YELLING - loudest yet) JESUS!
Journaling Can Be Very Therapeutic
Journal Entry 4/25/08
Today I went to work. I sat in my office. I thought about poking my own eye out for kicks. Ya’ know, to liven things up.
But what, I wondered, would I use? The only thing that was a remote possibility was this pen and even that’s retractable so I’m unsure how well it would work. Also, what would I then use to write in my journal? A pencil?! What am I? Six?! I think not. So, obviously, I couldn’t poke my eye out.
Bored for the rest of the day. Conclusion? It’s always something.
Today I went to work. I sat in my office. I thought about poking my own eye out for kicks. Ya’ know, to liven things up.
But what, I wondered, would I use? The only thing that was a remote possibility was this pen and even that’s retractable so I’m unsure how well it would work. Also, what would I then use to write in my journal? A pencil?! What am I? Six?! I think not. So, obviously, I couldn’t poke my eye out.
Bored for the rest of the day. Conclusion? It’s always something.
Conversations WIth . . . Vol. I
My Mother
Note: During the following conversation my mother never looks up from the crossword she's doing.
ME: Ow! My neck frickin' hurts.
HER: You need to turn your head more.
ME: What?
HER: You're so short that you always have to look up at everything. Isn't your office chair set as high as it'll go?
ME: Yeah.
HER: And you still have to look up at your computer and, correct me if I'm wrong, you said your desk comes up to your chest.
ME: Uh hu.
HER: See? You need to turn your head from side to side during the day . . . . You're like a person in a wheelchair.
ME: (staring at her incredulously) What?
HER: They're always looking up too. I bet their necks hurt.
ME: So, what you're saying is that I'm so short that I'm disabled?
HER: Yep.
(I walk away.)
HER: (yelling after me) Or a midget! (laughs for a good five minutes)
Note: During the following conversation my mother never looks up from the crossword she's doing.
ME: Ow! My neck frickin' hurts.
HER: You need to turn your head more.
ME: What?
HER: You're so short that you always have to look up at everything. Isn't your office chair set as high as it'll go?
ME: Yeah.
HER: And you still have to look up at your computer and, correct me if I'm wrong, you said your desk comes up to your chest.
ME: Uh hu.
HER: See? You need to turn your head from side to side during the day . . . . You're like a person in a wheelchair.
ME: (staring at her incredulously) What?
HER: They're always looking up too. I bet their necks hurt.
ME: So, what you're saying is that I'm so short that I'm disabled?
HER: Yep.
(I walk away.)
HER: (yelling after me) Or a midget! (laughs for a good five minutes)
Thursday, April 24, 2008
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. - Winston Churchill
Dr. Hugh Mercer, physician, soldier & patriot, practiced medicine and operated an apothecary shop from 1771 to 1776 in Fredericksburg, Virginia. Poor Dr. Mercer met his end as the result of wounds he recieved in the Revolutionary War at the Battle of Princeton. Many historians believe that, as a result of this, the vast majority of Virginians refuse to vacation in New Jersey to this very day. Most claim that although not too many people remember Dr. Mercer, per se, everyone can remember that to go to New Jersey means you may easily die a gruesome death, without benefit of modern medicine or comfortable hotel accomodations. This 18th century building, near the original site of Dr. Mercer's actual shop, displays surgical instruments and typical pharmaceuticals of the period and was once, in the early 1990's widely known for the lively, robust performance of a much loved teenaged docent who, with her never ending supply of wit and charm, led many a sunburned and foot sore tourist to a new understanding of the wonders of the common leech.
Monday, April 21, 2008
(At Long Last) Erin's Post As Requested
As you could, most likely, tell by the fact that it took me so long to do this post it’s difficult for me to write about my mother. I am very protective of her. Not that I have anything bad to say about her, you understand, but I was raised to believe that what happens in the family stays in the family. We firmly believe in omerta. The rule of silence. If something happens to one of us then it happens to all of us and we’ll take care of it. There isn’t, as far as we can see, any reason to involve outsiders.
So, obviously, to me, saying anything substantive about her seems almost like a betrayal. Even if, as is the case most of the time, it’s good. I have so many great stories and memories of and with my mother. I love her beyond anything. That being said, the woman is a nut.
She is. Don’t doubt this. I can prove it.
Have you met me? Yes? Well, we’re almost exactly alike…alright, fine, she’s taller. I said “almost”, didn’t I? People don’t believe me when I tell them this. I don’t know why. I did not spring, full grown, from the head of Zeus. Somebody made me. Well, a lot of people made me, actually, it takes a village to raise a Dark Fury. But, for the most part, it has always been just me and my mother since the beginning. Since before the beginning.
My parents broke up when my mother was pregnant with me. She was twenty-one and, even if I say it myself, I think she did a great job. Ya’ know, considering what she had to work with. And I think the thing that really amazes me is that my mother thinks I’m brave. She says it all the time. She tells me that I am braver than she is. How so? I have no idea. Well, I do know what she’s talking about, as it happens, but that’s neither here nor there. How can anything I’ve been “brave” about even compare to being a separated twenty-one year old woman with a baby on the way? It can’t. I am not brave. I just suck it up and do what needs doing. I learned that from her. She doesn’t see that. She’s blind as three bats. . . and a nut.
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Next? Come on, people. Batter up!
So, obviously, to me, saying anything substantive about her seems almost like a betrayal. Even if, as is the case most of the time, it’s good. I have so many great stories and memories of and with my mother. I love her beyond anything. That being said, the woman is a nut.
She is. Don’t doubt this. I can prove it.
Have you met me? Yes? Well, we’re almost exactly alike…alright, fine, she’s taller. I said “almost”, didn’t I? People don’t believe me when I tell them this. I don’t know why. I did not spring, full grown, from the head of Zeus. Somebody made me. Well, a lot of people made me, actually, it takes a village to raise a Dark Fury. But, for the most part, it has always been just me and my mother since the beginning. Since before the beginning.
My parents broke up when my mother was pregnant with me. She was twenty-one and, even if I say it myself, I think she did a great job. Ya’ know, considering what she had to work with. And I think the thing that really amazes me is that my mother thinks I’m brave. She says it all the time. She tells me that I am braver than she is. How so? I have no idea. Well, I do know what she’s talking about, as it happens, but that’s neither here nor there. How can anything I’ve been “brave” about even compare to being a separated twenty-one year old woman with a baby on the way? It can’t. I am not brave. I just suck it up and do what needs doing. I learned that from her. She doesn’t see that. She’s blind as three bats. . . and a nut.
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Next? Come on, people. Batter up!
Friday, April 18, 2008
....And The Word Was "List"....
1. Your middle name? Michael Dulany
2. Your favorite color? Green
3. Your birth month? May
4. Do you think everyone should act their age? Fuck no…act older!
5. Would you rather live in a mansion or cottage? I’d rather live in a shotgun shack, seriously.
6. Is your home perfectly spotless or lived in? Are there any other options?
7. Do you love your life? Sometimes
8. Do you want kids? Yes
9. Are you in a relationship? No
10. Do you have a soul mate? Yes but, sadly, he’s a goatherd in outer Mongolia so it’s doomed. Doomed!
11. City life or country life? Either, I just hate the suburbs.
12. Sports or theater? Neither. I'll take Theatre, thank you.
13. Books or movies? What is this, Sophie’s Choice?! I can’t choose and you can’t make me!
14. Poetry or Music? Music
15. Dinners out or at home? Depends on my mood
16. Romantic is a walk in the woods or on the beach? Either or neither depending on with whom one walks.
17. Home in the Mountains or on the Beach? Beach…no! Mountains…no! Beach….oh, cripes.
18. Mornings or nights? Nights
19. Is the glass half full or half empty? Either way it’s time for a refill.
20. Coffee or tea? Tea
21. Beer or Soda? Soda
22. An energy drink or juice? Juice
23. Are you the Driver or passenger? Passenger
24. Are you the Leader or follower? I'm a very submissive person, so...yeah. I didn't buy it either.
25. Are you pessimistic or optimistic? I’m a realist…so, pessimistic, I suppose.
26. Save the Whales or Save the Rainforest? The Polar Bears
27. If given the option, would you give money or food? Food
28. Would you give someone a second chance? How badly did they fuck up and how close were we to begin with? Not so bad and/or we‘re quite close? Sure. Horrible and/or I didn‘t care about the person to begin with? Dead to me!
29. What’s the hardest thing for you to give? Cash
30. Why?
Because I don't have any? And, if I may, duh.
31. Honesty even if it hurts or a white lie to make them feel better? Depends on the situation. Bad hair cut? Honesty. Ugly baby? White lie.
32. What’s the one thing that really sets you off? Injustice and bad movies
33. Tough love or forgiveness? Both. The iron fist in a velvet glove.
34. One for all or All for one? One for all
35. What’s your top regret? I think not.
36. What’s the one thing you would change about your life? I’d be Swedish…regrets, I’ve had a few…
37. What’s the one thing you would like people to know about yourself? My name isn’t Andrea, Andra or Audrey Anne.
38. What’s one thing you would change about yourself? I’d never be early. It's annoying.
39. What do you think of the phrase "Good Intentions"? The road to hell is paved with them. Do the right thing or don't. Up to you.
40. Do you believe in love? Yes
41. Can love die? No.
42. Is love blind? No. You don’t love people despite their flaws you love them because of them. Otherwise we’d all be A) the same, B) boring and C) screwed.
43. Whats the one thing you could never forgive? Disloyalty or hurting any of my family or friends. You murdered some stranger?! I'm sure they had it comin'.
44. Do you believe in second chances? Um, didn’t we cover this or am I psychic?
2. Your favorite color? Green
3. Your birth month? May
4. Do you think everyone should act their age? Fuck no…act older!
5. Would you rather live in a mansion or cottage? I’d rather live in a shotgun shack, seriously.
6. Is your home perfectly spotless or lived in? Are there any other options?
7. Do you love your life? Sometimes
8. Do you want kids? Yes
9. Are you in a relationship? No
10. Do you have a soul mate? Yes but, sadly, he’s a goatherd in outer Mongolia so it’s doomed. Doomed!
11. City life or country life? Either, I just hate the suburbs.
12. Sports or theater? Neither. I'll take Theatre, thank you.
13. Books or movies? What is this, Sophie’s Choice?! I can’t choose and you can’t make me!
14. Poetry or Music? Music
15. Dinners out or at home? Depends on my mood
16. Romantic is a walk in the woods or on the beach? Either or neither depending on with whom one walks.
17. Home in the Mountains or on the Beach? Beach…no! Mountains…no! Beach….oh, cripes.
18. Mornings or nights? Nights
19. Is the glass half full or half empty? Either way it’s time for a refill.
20. Coffee or tea? Tea
21. Beer or Soda? Soda
22. An energy drink or juice? Juice
23. Are you the Driver or passenger? Passenger
24. Are you the Leader or follower? I'm a very submissive person, so...yeah. I didn't buy it either.
25. Are you pessimistic or optimistic? I’m a realist…so, pessimistic, I suppose.
26. Save the Whales or Save the Rainforest? The Polar Bears
27. If given the option, would you give money or food? Food
28. Would you give someone a second chance? How badly did they fuck up and how close were we to begin with? Not so bad and/or we‘re quite close? Sure. Horrible and/or I didn‘t care about the person to begin with? Dead to me!
29. What’s the hardest thing for you to give? Cash
30. Why?
Because I don't have any? And, if I may, duh.
31. Honesty even if it hurts or a white lie to make them feel better? Depends on the situation. Bad hair cut? Honesty. Ugly baby? White lie.
32. What’s the one thing that really sets you off? Injustice and bad movies
33. Tough love or forgiveness? Both. The iron fist in a velvet glove.
34. One for all or All for one? One for all
35. What’s your top regret? I think not.
36. What’s the one thing you would change about your life? I’d be Swedish…regrets, I’ve had a few…
37. What’s the one thing you would like people to know about yourself? My name isn’t Andrea, Andra or Audrey Anne.
38. What’s one thing you would change about yourself? I’d never be early. It's annoying.
39. What do you think of the phrase "Good Intentions"? The road to hell is paved with them. Do the right thing or don't. Up to you.
40. Do you believe in love? Yes
41. Can love die? No.
42. Is love blind? No. You don’t love people despite their flaws you love them because of them. Otherwise we’d all be A) the same, B) boring and C) screwed.
43. Whats the one thing you could never forgive? Disloyalty or hurting any of my family or friends. You murdered some stranger?! I'm sure they had it comin'.
44. Do you believe in second chances? Um, didn’t we cover this or am I psychic?
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