My Super (Nauseating) Sweet 16

Question:

When your 16 year old child asks you for a twenty-five thousand dollar Fendi mink coat what should your answer be?

A. What did you just ask me?
B. Are you out of your tiny mind?
C. Hell no!
D. All of the above.
E. Anything you want. It’s your world, we’re all just living in it!

Apparently, much to my shock, the answer is E. Who knew? Not me. I did not know that.

I would have imagined, actually, that the correct thing to do would be to laugh in the childs face for about an hour . . . Possibly while slapping them, lightly, about the head and neck with a rolled up newspaper. That would, surely, be my response. But, what do I know? If you go by the dim bulb, lack wit, parents of the Super Sweet 16 crowd I’m wrong as wrong can be. Hu.

Now, I’m sure, twenty-five thousand dollars is chump change to these people. Good for them. Way to hustle! But, instead of spending it on a, frankly, ugly coat that little baby precious dumplin’ angel will wear for about a minute before she’s “over it” how about you take that chump change and, oh, I don’t know…do something crazy? Like making her do volunteer work and then donating the money to the charity of her choice! How about doing something wacky like that? Why not show her that sometimes we don’t always get every little thing our hearts desire and that some, hell, lots of people don’t get the essentials let alone the luxury items? Wouldn’t that be a hoot?!

No? Better to have her grow up believing that she’s entitled to any little thing she wants? Better she should never understand the value of a dollar or how, honestly, to get a dollar without pitching a fit and running to daddy? Better she should grow up to be a douche bag of staggering proportions? Well, if you say so I’ll . . . No. Come to think of it, I won’t believe you.