so much as I jumped off and flipped it the bird as it drove away. And, yes, if you must know, I feel pretty foul about it and the fact that I can't seem to quit smoking on my own. So, feel free to keep any shitty comments to yourself.
What can I say? I'm an addicted addict. I can't stop. Maybe next I'll try Wellbutrin and hypnotherapy. That last one would be good just for the fuckin' comic value.
In conclusion, I am a loser. I accept this.
Showing posts with label Junkie Thinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Junkie Thinking. Show all posts
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
How To Avoid Thinking Of Smoking
Step 1:
Go to the farmer’s market. Buy a roast, a pound of green beans, a pound and a half of peas (in shell), six ears of corn, a pound of potatoes and a pound of peaches.
Step 2:
Go home. Attempt to refrain from hitting other cars/pedestrians “accidentally”.
Step 3:
Season roast beef and place in preheated oven.
Step 4:
Snap the green beans.
Step 5:
Shell the peas.
Step 6:
Shuck the corn.
Step 7:
Peel the potatoes.
Step 8:
Cut up the peaches. Sprinkle them with sugar. Place in refrigerator.
Step 9:
Boil the potatoes.
Step 10:
Mash the potatoes. Cover bowl of mashed potatoes and place over a pot of simmering water to keep warm.
Step 11:
Boil corn, beans and peas (in separate pots).
Step 12:
Take meat out of oven. Leave to rest for 20 minutes.
Step 13:
Make gravy.
Step 14.
Move all vegetables to serving dishes.
Step 15:
Cut roast beef.
Step 16:
Serve dinner.
Step 17:
Whip a cup of heavy cream.
Step 18:
Place peaches in dessert bowls. Top with whipped cream
Step 19:
Serve dessert
Step 20:
Clean up.
Step 21:
Make chocolate chip cookies.
Step 22:
Clean up.
Step 23:
Clean bathroom.
Step 24:
Type up list.
That’s it. Now keep in mind that during all of this you will still think, constantly ,about having a cigarette and also about killing anyone who gets in your way . . . Or who is breathing within a six mile radius. But all of these separate steps will keep you from grabbing a cigarette, or a knife, for at least a few hours.
One day at a time. Oh, and let someone else do the carving. Seriously. You can’t be trusted.
Go to the farmer’s market. Buy a roast, a pound of green beans, a pound and a half of peas (in shell), six ears of corn, a pound of potatoes and a pound of peaches.
Step 2:
Go home. Attempt to refrain from hitting other cars/pedestrians “accidentally”.
Step 3:
Season roast beef and place in preheated oven.
Step 4:
Snap the green beans.
Step 5:
Shell the peas.
Step 6:
Shuck the corn.
Step 7:
Peel the potatoes.
Step 8:
Cut up the peaches. Sprinkle them with sugar. Place in refrigerator.
Step 9:
Boil the potatoes.
Step 10:
Mash the potatoes. Cover bowl of mashed potatoes and place over a pot of simmering water to keep warm.
Step 11:
Boil corn, beans and peas (in separate pots).
Step 12:
Take meat out of oven. Leave to rest for 20 minutes.
Step 13:
Make gravy.
Step 14.
Move all vegetables to serving dishes.
Step 15:
Cut roast beef.
Step 16:
Serve dinner.
Step 17:
Whip a cup of heavy cream.
Step 18:
Place peaches in dessert bowls. Top with whipped cream
Step 19:
Serve dessert
Step 20:
Clean up.
Step 21:
Make chocolate chip cookies.
Step 22:
Clean up.
Step 23:
Clean bathroom.
Step 24:
Type up list.
That’s it. Now keep in mind that during all of this you will still think, constantly ,about having a cigarette and also about killing anyone who gets in your way . . . Or who is breathing within a six mile radius. But all of these separate steps will keep you from grabbing a cigarette, or a knife, for at least a few hours.
One day at a time. Oh, and let someone else do the carving. Seriously. You can’t be trusted.
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