It may be that the race is not always to the swift-- but that is the way to bet.

I think I was born without an ambition gene. Don’t most people want to succeed in business, make friends and influence people…or something like that? I don’t. I absolutely don’t care if I’m never a CEO. I can’t get it up for a long boring fiscal planning seminar. It’s hot and all but sadly I’m not into it. I can’t think of one thing (in the business world) that I aspire to. My only business related concern? I can’t be poor. Can’t do it. I don’t know how people live like that without having a heart attack. They are better than me and I freely admit that.

Now I hear some of you (Olivia) yelling that I’ve been poor before. This is untrue. The most I have ever been is temporarily without funds. You think it’s the same but it’s not. You may be temporarily without funds for days, weeks, months, years or even centuries but you are never poor as long as you have prospects.

Example: My grandmother came home from school one day and found that her mother had given away her doll. When she asked her mother why she had done such a thing she was told that my great-grandmother had put the doll in the poor box. Again, she asked, why? Because, she was told, those poor children don’t have a doll! It’s our responsibility to take care of the less fortunate.

My grandmother was confused by this. Why? Because it was her only doll and now, thanks to the poor box, she didn’t have a doll at all…was she not less fortunate? Answer? No. Not even a little bit apparently. Because, you see, even though my grandmothers family had had no money to speak of since the 1860’s they had two key things: Upbringing and prospects. As long as you have prospects you’ll always get funds enough . . .eventually. It may take two hundred thousand years but you can wait it out. You know the good times are going to roll around again…eventually.

I can’t wait that long. I can’t live in a shit hole and worry constantly about paying the bills. I can’t. It would give me an ulcer in a month. My point is that as long as I’m paid a living wage I couldn’t give a fiddler’s f*ck for the rest of the business world.

I think I’d like to be a muse. How do you get that job? What does that entail? Just hanging around with artsy types waiting for the paintings to start piling up . . . the verse to flutter down . . . the songs to be sung? Sleeping late? Alcohol? Being a “character” (nice way of saying weirdo)? Check. Check. Aaaaaaaand…Check! I’m over qualified for that gig! Where is that section in the want ads? Actually, now that I think about it. I think I’d be a pretty damn good muse. After all, I’m only ambitious for other people. If I succeed is beside the point. I want you to succeed. That’s much more important to me. I hate to see a talent wasted. Unless it’s my own and then I’m fine with it. See? No ambition. It’s a sickness.