“For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?” Jack Handy

The more he thought about it, the more convinced Dr. Thadeous Mattalson became that he had at last discovered that which had eluded scientific man-kind for generations. Yes, but how to get top dollar for it, that was the question on Thadeous' mind now. Science for science's sake was all very well when he was just a fledgling but now, with a wife and four eggs about to hatch, Thadeous could use some ready cash and his discovery of Alkahest should be the way to get it!

Unfortunately, Thadeous was all too familiar with the pitfalls of the open market. He'd been just a lad when his own father, Vladimir, had cornered the world supply of soporiferous son et lumiere, just as the public began it's love affair with hot jazz and bathtub gin. What a disaster. All the family's vast fortune tied up in what had become, overnight, a drag on the market. Yes, Thadeous knew there was a new fortune to be made with Alkahest but was the time right to release it on the consuming public and where could he get the money for the first fifty info-mercials?

These were the questions that would, dare one say it, drive him mad!