Anonymous (I’m trying out tact.)
Him: Tangled webs deceive!
Me: Pardon?
Him: Tangled webs deceive. It's Shakespeare.
What I WANTED to say: No. It's not. Nowhere, in any of his myriad works, did Shakespeare write that tangled webs deceive. Not once. I promise. Sir Walter Scott did write "oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." The two are quite different. Seriously.
And, while we're having this little chat, I'd also like to point out that you misquote Shakespeare all the time. Every day. Every. Single. Day. I wish this to cease. At once, if you would be so kind. I would also like, if I may, to assure you that the following statements you have made over the past few weeks are also incorrect.
A. Hamlet never said "alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well." "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. " That is the line and it isn't, as you seem to assume, suitable to every occasion.
B. Romeo and Juliet did not live "happily ever after". Spoiler Alert! They didn't live. Period.
And last but by no means least,
C. Shakespeare did not, let me be perfectly clear on this point as, if you take nothing else from this conversation, you must learn this, live in Victorian England. Unless, of course, he was a time traveler and, even then, he would have been more of a tourist and not, as you assert, a subject of Her Majesty Victoria Regina.
Comprende, chief?
What I ACTUALLY said: Hu.
Then I walked away.
2 comments:
I think you're being a little too picky. He's close enough.
Just like one of my coworkers, who said Emily Dickinson and Jane Austen were "basically the same."
Cancel! That attitude does not please & sparkle.
Who said that? Are they pejorative?
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