Monday, May 5, 2008

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. - Anon.

I love random weirdness. Love. It. If you know me at all then you know this.

So, are we surprised that seeing a beat up old 80’s wreck of a car on the side of the road makes me happy? Not weird yet? OK. How about the driver standing outside of the vehicle being interrogated by a police officer? No? Did I mention the man being “interviewed” was screaming and gesticulating wildly? No, but you still aren’t impressed….Oh! I forgot to tell you! The gentleman was wearing a too small t-shirt and underpants and, no. Wait. That’s all he was wearing.

Not particularly attractive underpants.

All I heard, as I drove by, was the loon…I mean gentleman screaming “my girlfriend!”

Here’s what I think happened -

Earlier this afternoon the gentleman, surprised by the beautiful weather, was extraordinarily warm. Sadly, the AC in his trailer was on the fritz! Oh, how warm he got. Finally, cranky and itchy from the heat, he couldn’t stand it anymore! He called his girlfriend, LoRetty, to ask if he could come over to her place and enjoy her AC. Unfortunately, LoRetty didn’t answer. Remembering that she had dropped her phone at the meth lab they had visited earlier in the week and that it was probably still wonky from the chemicals he decided to drive over and see if she was home. On the way there who should he see walking down the road? LoRetty! He called out to her as he pulled over. She turned and, not recognizing him due to her poor eye sight, walked over to the car and leaned into the window to see if she could recognize him. After establishing that it was in fact her boyfriend she reminded him that he still owed her his half of the meth money from the aforementioned drug run. As he handed her the money from the glove box a police car pulled up behind them! The flashing of the lights startled poor LoRetty who scampered off, like a young gazelle, across the field and into the woods. The officer, misinterpreting the situation as those suspicious people tend to do, asked the gentleman to step out of the vehicle. At this point our unfortunate hero realized that he had been so crazy from the lack of sweet cool air that he had neglected to put on his pants!

Oh, the humanity!

2 comments:

Jenn M said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..............................................................................................................................
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....................................

No really.. did I tell you this is the funniest ever!! I probably know him... LOL

BTW.. happy belated birthday!!!

Dark Fury said...

Cripes! LoRetty! Is that you?

Thanks, man.