Sometimes, I Hate My Job.

Today, as part of my job, I listened to about sixteen people tell the story of how they met and had children with their exes. They all met in different places. They all came from different backgrounds. They all had one thing in common (besides the fact that all their relationships exploded and the now hate each other). They had absolutely no courtship period. This led me to wonder - What the hell happened to wooing?

It seems that now-a-days people don’t date anymore. At least they don’t in any way that I recognize it. They “hang out“. They become “friends“. They drunkenly “hook up” and then, SHAZAM!, they’re an item. This repels me on so many different levels.

I am disturbed by this. I’ve always stood by the adage - “You don’t ask? You don’t get.” I expect, no, I demand, a wooing phase. A courtship, if you will. I expect and I expect that my friends expect and I expect that their friends expect that there will be an expectation of…OK, I got carried away. Where was I? Oh! Yeah! I expect that if a man is interested in me he will, oh, I don’t know, do something crazy. Like tell me or show me. I know! I’m a nut.

I feel that this whole hanging out thing as a replacement for dating is along the same lines of the other two things I hate. “The 3 Date Rule” and “Friends With Benefits”. The first, as you all must know, states that on the third date a woman will “give it up”. Too subtle? How about “bang like a drum”? That clearer? Great! The second, as you again know, is a situation where two people who aren’t really interested in each other have sex on occasion. No strings, if you will .

Both these and the hanging out instead of dating trend are for one sole purpose - to make it easier for men to get laid. I shouldn’t even say that it makes it easier for men to get laid. I should say boys. Because, honestly, a man steps up and asks for what he wants. A boy just let’s things happen. That way he can always say, “Hey! I never intended that!” Or, “Oh, it just happened.” Usually these things are said while smirking. Repugnant. It’s called responsibility. Look into it. We have many fine reference materials available. They’re called “dictionaries”.

Now, men, obviously, couldn’t get away with this if it weren’t for women. And the women who are going along with this crap are standing around feeling good about the fact that they’re “fucking like a man”! They believe that this is what the fight for Feminism was for. Well, in a way it was. But, in most ways, it is completely and totally apposed to said principles.

I can see where you’re confused. I’ll explain. Feminism is all about choice. It is your choice to do with your body, mind, life exactly as you please. And, hey, if you want to go out and fuck the neighborhood blind? That’s up to you. Go for it. It’s your right. On the other hand, Feminism is also about respect. And if you think that anybody respects anything that they get without work you’ve obviously never met a rich person. I mean somebody who was born rich. Real rich. I’m talking Rich. Capital “R”. I have. They have no respect for most of what they have. “Oh, that? What? It’s just money!” Or, my favorite, “I just don’t understand why people go to work“.

I mean, it’s America and it’s up to you. Be the catch or be the thing just came along so I took it. It’s up to you. But, please, remember that someday you’ll have children. Maybe you’ll have daughters. . .Think about it. . . I’ll wait. . . There it is! I knew you’d catch up. I have faith in you.

Now, let’s get back to expectations. Everybody should have standards and expectations. They don’t make you picky. They don’t make you high maintenance. They make you, well, a person with standards and expectations. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, we, as in humans, wouldn’t have survived this long without them. We want to pick out the best mate to continue the species. It’s in our DNA. Is the best way to do that to just take what you can get? To say, eh., you’ll do? No. It’s not.

So, in conclusion, ladies step up to the plate. Have expectations and standards. Gentlemen, step up to the plate. Give us a reason to have expectations and standards. Trust me, you'll be rewarded for it. Why, Dark Fury, I hear you cry out as one, What do you mean? I mean that since nobody out there is doing the right thing when you do you’ll be a king. You’ll be beating the broads off with a stick. I promise you this.

I shall close with a quote that is very close to my heart . . . .

“He that is more than a boy is not for me. He that is less than a man, I am not for him.”
Shakespeare, “Much Ado About Nothing”