Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. T.S. Eliot

It has been brought to my attention that I don’t blog enough. Well, what can I say? My bad. So, I’ll attempt to log a blog at least once a day. Starting? Oh, why not now?

What to blog about? What…to…blog…about…. Hu. Well, since nothing is striking me right off the bat I’m afraid you’ll have to deal with stream of consciousness. Sucks to be you as I will not be using spell check.

Why are gauchos a popular style of pant? They don’t look good on anybody under 5’5”. Seriously. Think about it. They end right below the knee but they’re all quite loose and flowy. Who needs that when they have, like myself, about what? 4 inches between knee and ankle? Maybe it’s that I have the shortest legs on the planet (except obviously for “little people” PS? Did you see that the father from Little People Big World got pulled for DUI? For G-d’s sake! If you are under 4 feet tall I got news! You can’t drink that much. It’s a body mass thing. Thems the breaks but come on! You had to know that.)? I am, apparently, Snow White: The Later Years. No. Don’t laugh. It’s serious stuff! The later years? I’m old. Old as the hills…as long as the hills were formed in 1975. Wow. The seventies kind of sucked. On the bright side? I was born on the day that we finally left Vietnam. You’re welcome. Clearly it was in honor of my birthday. The cosmos thought to themselves, as they are want to do, well, she’s missed good Elvis, the Beatles, the sexual revolution will be over by the time she’s old enough to do anything about it . . . .not that I believe I would have although who knows? Maybe if I hadn’t been raised my entire life knowing that sex can kill I’d be a total whore but I kind of doubt it. Sadly, I am what used to be known as a “good girl”. Sex is fun. I like it. However, I don’t see the point of random hooking up. It just seems trashy to me. I mean you should all go do what you want I’m not preaching! I’m just saying, for me? I think not. At least this way if ever I decide to totally give up my entire way of life I can move to Brooklyn and become one of the Hasidim. Yeah. That would happen. Like I’d ever shave my head. Get a grip! I’d wear a burka first. Actually, I think they’re actually a good idea in the desert. Sunburn is a bitch on wheels is all I’m sayin’. Which is actually why they were probably introduced. Why? Because the paler you are the more high class you must be. If you’re pale you must have servants to do the work for you out in the sun. So, since all people want to be thought of as being of a higher station what can you do if you need to be out in the sun? You cover up. It’s a fashion, man! Maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know. It’s just a theory. Please, don’t bomb me. Can I just say that I’m in no way afraid of being bombed? When the Republicans start telling me that without them I’d be bombed to hell and gone I tend to laugh (with great force. . . and anger). I don’t know how anybody could let that color their view of the different parties. Is it better to vote out of fear or out of respect? Well, all I’m saying is that the Nazis instilled fear in the populace and look what happened. Bad things. Am I saying that terrorism is never going to happen here again? Clearly I am not. I’m saying that if it happens it happens. Closing down the Mexican border isn’t going to help. That’s just an excuse to keep the dark poor people out. Racism at it’s finest. You never hear anybody say “those damn Canadians are taking our jobs! Let’s build a wall!” No. No. You never will. Why? Because we think of Canadians as being white folks who speak our language. To this I say that the statue of liberty doesn’t have a plaque that reads “give me your white. Your rich. Your English speakers yearning to make bank!” I bitch and moan, it occurs to me, a lot about my country. Well, that’s my prerogative (I can do what I wanna’ do…Bobby Brown…anyone? Anyone?). I’m an American. It’s my duty to try and make my country a better place. I honestly believe in the dream of America. I believe that we are, when we do what we say we will do and are who we say we are, the greatest country in the world. We are the only country founded on the simple principle that all men are created equal and have the right to go out and do what they can, as long as they don’t hurt anyone else, to be happy. That’s pretty friggin’ extraordinary when you think about it. Are we the best we can be? No. We aren’t. We are not what we should be. But, more importantly, we are not what we were and we shall someday, G-d willing, be what we can be. Maybe I should run for president! Not likely. If I could figure out a way to work for the Clinton foundation I’d do it in a hot minute. Hmmmm….how to get in the door at the Clinton foundation….oh. Wait. I got an idea. An awful idea. Dark Fury has a wonderful, awful idea. . . . Anybody got a cigar? I just shouldn’t wear gauchos when I go on the interview because, again, they’re not attractive.