Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Misanthrope Goes To The Movies

"Particles of Truth" a Review of Total Crap
By Dark Fury

From the first shot you know that this is an art piece made by a woman who is totally and completely in love. With her own voice and face. It is about ninety minutes long and eighty minutes of that time is spent on close up shots of her looking pensive, sad, angry, etc. And, to make matters worse, the entire movie is shot with that oh so annoying "realistic" shaky camera work. I hate this like poison. I hate it, actually, more than poison. Poison has uses.

Have I ever mentioned why I hate C.S. Lewis? Well, in case I haven't, it's because he hits you over the head with the metaphore. This annoys me. A lot. Well, the broad who made this movie must love "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe." Her character finally finds redemption through a death bed renconciliation with her father who looks like.....wait for it.....Jesus. Seriously? Did I need that little clue to realize that this was the turning point in her life? Probably not. Well, not if I had been paying attention at that point which I wasn't because I couldn't take her friggin' voice whining on and on and on and the close ups of her face (sans make-up for that, again, realistic look) that also go on and on and on.

This film, for it is art and must never be called a movie, is unbearable. Truly. Every character is a mess. Every character is barely a character because the artiste who made the film/art piece/piece of crap can't be bothered to flesh out anyone or thing but her own meandering, maudlin, decrepit, predictable, pure shite story line. If you can even call it that since nothing happens. I deep down hate this movie. I may even hate the woman who wrote, directed, starred in and, for all I know, edited the damn thing.

In conclusion, if ever you need to know that life is worth living rent this movie. Once it's over and done with life seems sweeter. It's like the old joke.

Person 1: Why are you hitting yourself with that hammer?
Person 2: Because it feels so good when I stop.*

* I didn't say it was a good joke. I said it was old.

3 comments:

BlondeJustice said...

You should really express what you are feeling and not bottle it up inside.

Retainer Girl said...

You hate C.S. Lewis?!

Dark Fury said...

A. I'll try.

B. Yes. Yes, I do.