Lists, lists and more lists!

On an up note! I have made a list of things I covet at Target.com which is entitled, appropriately enough, "Things I Covet". Ahhhhhh....lists.....is there anything they can't do?

Edited To Add: Also did one on linensnthings.com. I'm addicted!

People Who Don't make Me Sad

Rowan Atkinson. Who's funnier than this man? Answer? Nobody. Mr. Bean? I hate it. But, well, one swallow does not a summer make. So, let's not judge too harshly.



The Thin Blue Line - Funny Cops




Black Adder - Funny History

Stories From The Borderline Narcoleptic

It’s a little bit scary to pass out without any warning. I know that it’s because I’m tired and not really a narcoleptic. I know that once I get used to my new schedule/commute it’ll clear up but it’s still a little scary. Not to mention it f’s up my social calendar. What, you may ask, am I talking about?

Well, long story short, I’ve passed out twice now with no warning. Both times I was at home and on my bed or couch and I don’t think it would ever happen anywhere else. I think I just get so tired and stressed out that when I hit a comfortable and safe spot my body just shuts off. I’d like a little warning! How about an eye flutter? A count down in my head? Something?! But no. No warning. One minute I’m sitting reading or watching TV and the next? Good morning!

On the plus side I’m quite refreshed afterward! Well, that’s a lie. I slept all day, basically, on Sunday. I woke up. I had some food. I went back to sleep. I woke up at again at 4PM and then at 7PM I went back to sleep. Crazy. But I’m awake today! Yowza!

Yeah. It’s definite. I need to move.

Look, I know the supernatural is something that isn't supposed to happen, but it does happen.

If you know me at all then you know that I don't ever believe that I am having an extra-sensory experience. That being said, the weirdest thing ever happened today at work.

I was waiting on the fourteenth floor for some movers to bring up furniture a tenant had ordered. I was standing there for about a minute when I heard all the elevators start to come up. All the elevators stopped on the fourteenth floor. The doors opened at the same time. Nobody was there. Hu, I thought, that's weird. The doors closed and started to go back down. Then? I heard them all come up again. The same exact thing happened. Six times! And after the third time? The light overhead starting blinking.

Finally the movers came and we got the furniture situation sorted out. They went down in the service elevator. The regular elevator came before I pushed the button. I sh*t you not! Hu, I thought again, that's wicked weird.

I went back down to the office and asked my boss if there had been a power surge or anything. She said no. I said did the lights down here blink? She said no. I said, Hu. That's weird! Then I told her what had happened and she said....wait for it! Were you on the fourteenth floor? Um......yeah. Why do you ask? Because, she said, that's where the man died. 'Scuse me?! What? No thank you! She was freaked out. I was freaked out. I have no desire to ever again go to that floor. End of story. Tell me that's not frickin' creepy! Again? No. Thank. You!

People Who Don't Make Me Sad

Dear Reader,
Please, if you haven't already, run out and buy this movie. If you haven't seen it yet don't worry. You won't regret your impulse purchase.

Sincerely,

Dark Fury




The people who made "Bedrooms & Hallways". It's funny and strange....and strangely lovely. My kind of people. Best line in the movie? "You're a strawberry blonde. You can't go out with an ash blonde. It's not right."

All in all a good day of rest and movie watching. Kevin McKidd, James Purefoy and Gerard Butler. What's not to like?

Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery

With apologies to Erin . . . .

Use the first letter of your name to answer these categories:

1. Famous Singer/Band:Aerosmith

2. Four letter word: Avid

3. Street: Amhurst Dr

4. Color: Apple Green

5. Gifts/Presents: Airline Tickets (What? A girl can dream.)

6. Vehicle: Andrea Doria (What? It didn't say it had to be a car. A ship is a vehicle.)

7. Things in a Souvenir Shop: Abba CD's (In Sweden...or IKEA)

8. Boy Name: Aidan

9. Girl Name: Anastasia

10. Movie Title: A Streetcar Named Desire

11. Drink: Anisette (sp?)

12. Occupation: Acupuncturist

13. Celebrity: Adrian Brody

14. Magazine: Audubon

15. U.S. City: Anchorage, AK (Twofer!)

16. Pro Sports Teams: Anaheim Ducks (NHL)

17. Fruit: Apricot

18. Reason for Being Late for Work: Accident

19. Something You Throw Away: Ashes

20. Things You Shout: Atta' Boy! (If you lived in the 50's)

21. Cartoon Character: Ariel

I'm either bored or out of my mind (or possibly both)...

Seriously, who made this thing? Why can't they count?

1. How old will you be in five years? 37

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? My co-workers.

3. How tall are you? 5'1” . . . AND A HALF!!

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? Days off?

5. What's the last movie you saw in theaters? The last Die Hard

6. Who was the last person you called? Olivia

7. Who was the last person to call you? Olivia

8. What was the last text message you received? “Unfortunately.” - Patherine Kackard

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? Olivia

10. Would you rather call or text? Text

11. Are you going to give out your cell number here? Nope

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? Divorced

13. When is the last time you saw your mom? An hour ago

14. When is the last time you saw your dad? Eleven years ago

15. Have you ever been to a concert? No. I believe that music is the devil’s work.

16. What are you wearing right now? Chanel No. 5 & a smile

18. Where is your favorite place to be? Right now? Bed. Generally? New York.

19. Where is your least favorite place to be? The dentist.

20. Africa-New Zealand-Japan? New Zealand

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? No clue

22. Do you tan or burn? I’ve had two second degree sun burns. You figure it out.

23. What did you fear as a child? Everything

24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh? Blades of Glory

25. How many TV's do you have in your house? 3

26. How big is your bed? Queen

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? Laptop

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? A suit of armor.

29. What color are your sheets? Green check on a white background

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? I have two but I only use one.

31. what is your favorite season? Fall

32. What do you like about fall? The clothes, the temperature, the scenery, the holidays

33. What do you like about winter? It isn’t summer

34. What do you like about the summer? Thunder storms

35. What do you like about spring? My birthday and the weather…in that order.

45. What instant messenger service do you use? I don’t

46. How is your hair currently? Straight and shiny

47. Are you wearing shoes? No

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average? Lately? About 4 quarts (the ac is broken in my office)

49. What do you drink in the morning? Water

50. Do you eat breakfast? Only on rare occasions

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? No

52. Do you know how to play poker? Yes

53. Do you like to cuddle? With whom?

54. Do you like hugs or kisses? Seriously?

55. Favorite TV show? Ugly Betty

56. Do you eat dinner out or at home more often? At home

57. What’s your favorite restaurant? It honestly depends on my mood.

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Yes.

59. Do you want kids? Yes.

60. Have you ever been to a live television show taping? No

61. Have you ever gotten stitches? Yes.

62. Have you ever ridden in a fire truck? Nope

63. Do you prefer the ocean or a pool? Ocean

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat? Window

65. Do you know how to drive a stick? No

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? World Market…anything from World Market

67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? No

68. Do you wish on 11:11? Yep

69. Do you get easily embarrassed? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no.

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No. We’re just good friends. Why? What have you heard?

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone? London Calling

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? No

74. What orange object is closest to you right now? My Tide To Go pen

75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? No. I’m a bad person.

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Either.

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? I’m allergic to bees so that would definitely kill me. Could I possibly survive the bear attack? I need more info to answer this question.

78. Do you have a car? No. I’m Amish.

79. Are you driving? Right now? No.

80. Do you pump your own gas? Yes, except in LA

81. Can you change the oil on a car? No

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? no

83. Have you ever ran out of gas while in a car? No. Shouldn’t that be “run”?

84. What is your usual bedtime? Oh, that’s cute!

85. What was the last book you read? The Wee Free Men

86. Do you read the newspaper? Sometimes.

87. Do you read magazines? Yes.

89. What do you fear most? Poverty

90. Do you dance in the car? Only the Hula.

91. What radio station did you last listen to? I-Pod.

92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you? Spencer Tracey

93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper? A phone message at work

94. What is your favorite candle scent? lemon

95. What is your favorite board game? Trivial Pursuit

96. What school are you going to and when does it start? Um. The school of hard knocks?

97. What is your most missed memory in middle school and or high school? Skipping

98. Who was your favorite teacher in middle/high school? Mr. Andrews

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent? 24 hours. It sucked. S-U-C-K-E-D

100. Who was the last person to give you butterflies? I’ve never received a butterfly as a gift. It seems like a cruel thing to do.

It may be that the race is not always to the swift-- but that is the way to bet.

I think I was born without an ambition gene. Don’t most people want to succeed in business, make friends and influence people…or something like that? I don’t. I absolutely don’t care if I’m never a CEO. I can’t get it up for a long boring fiscal planning seminar. It’s hot and all but sadly I’m not into it. I can’t think of one thing (in the business world) that I aspire to. My only business related concern? I can’t be poor. Can’t do it. I don’t know how people live like that without having a heart attack. They are better than me and I freely admit that.

Now I hear some of you (Olivia) yelling that I’ve been poor before. This is untrue. The most I have ever been is temporarily without funds. You think it’s the same but it’s not. You may be temporarily without funds for days, weeks, months, years or even centuries but you are never poor as long as you have prospects.

Example: My grandmother came home from school one day and found that her mother had given away her doll. When she asked her mother why she had done such a thing she was told that my great-grandmother had put the doll in the poor box. Again, she asked, why? Because, she was told, those poor children don’t have a doll! It’s our responsibility to take care of the less fortunate.

My grandmother was confused by this. Why? Because it was her only doll and now, thanks to the poor box, she didn’t have a doll at all…was she not less fortunate? Answer? No. Not even a little bit apparently. Because, you see, even though my grandmothers family had had no money to speak of since the 1860’s they had two key things: Upbringing and prospects. As long as you have prospects you’ll always get funds enough . . .eventually. It may take two hundred thousand years but you can wait it out. You know the good times are going to roll around again…eventually.

I can’t wait that long. I can’t live in a shit hole and worry constantly about paying the bills. I can’t. It would give me an ulcer in a month. My point is that as long as I’m paid a living wage I couldn’t give a fiddler’s f*ck for the rest of the business world.

I think I’d like to be a muse. How do you get that job? What does that entail? Just hanging around with artsy types waiting for the paintings to start piling up . . . the verse to flutter down . . . the songs to be sung? Sleeping late? Alcohol? Being a “character” (nice way of saying weirdo)? Check. Check. Aaaaaaaand…Check! I’m over qualified for that gig! Where is that section in the want ads? Actually, now that I think about it. I think I’d be a pretty damn good muse. After all, I’m only ambitious for other people. If I succeed is beside the point. I want you to succeed. That’s much more important to me. I hate to see a talent wasted. Unless it’s my own and then I’m fine with it. See? No ambition. It’s a sickness.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

Oy. Where to start? Where. To. Start?

Well, I’ve been at my new job for about three and a half weeks and it’s going well. However, there are now only two people who work in my office. 1.) My manager 2.) Me…That is all. There were two other people but they both went bitch cakes and quit on the same day. So now we’re up to our eyes in work. If I ever see those two again I may kill them. I have one day off this week. Actually, I had one day off this week. It was Wednesday. It is over now, sadly. Oh, well. What can ya’ do? Bloody nothin’ that’s what.

On the up side my manager wants to make me the assistant manager. And me with no ambition to speak of! She has to ask her boss first and it may not happen because, again, I’ve only been there three weeks. But, as my mother said…Crikey! What do you get after a full month? Chairperson of the board? Maybe, ma. Maybe.

I had my day off today and I got to see a couple of my friends. Thank goodness! I was beginning to feel like I was never going to see anybody again! All by myself…don’t want to be…all by myyyyyyyselllllf anymooooore….I went and had my hair straightened. I went and had Chipotle with Olivia and saw Blades of Glory. Also, we did ear candling. It’s awesome! It’s like a high colonic for your ear canal! I can hear everything. Every-bleedin’-thing in the known flippin’ world! It’s crazy. Especially when you consider that I am legitimately half deaf in my left ear. I haven’t been able to hear this well in years. Again? Crazy!

I must away to bed now as I’m back to work in the early morning tomorrow but first! A few shout outs!

Patherine:
Good luck with your thesis. Not that you’ll need it because whatever you write will be brilliant. As far as I’m concerned it’s just a formality and you’ve already gotten the degree. Jane would be so proud!

GirlySmack:
Aaaah! Sadie went to school! Did you love having just Jack at home today or did you cry? I bet a little of both. I also bet that Sadie, whether in a diaper or not, will be one of the most popular kids there. She’s grand and you’ve both done a gorgeous job with your children. Good parenting is lovely to watch and you always give a good example. Also, what font do you want your list in? When I get a chance everybody gets a list!

O-Liv:
Thanks for the candling, man! It was good to finally see you. You see? This is why I’m torn about moving north! I want to be able to see all my people on my days off! It’s a quandary. PS? You are a loser with two “o”s and if I had an umlaut I would use it!

That’s all! See you all…sometime, I’m sure! Comment to me! I feel so alone without comments! I’m a loser. What?!